


Say Something, I'm Giving Up on You

by rosealie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Some Fluff, Songfic, but ANGST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-09 17:34:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6916801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosealie/pseuds/rosealie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If only he'd said something when he had the chance...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Say Something

**Author's Note:**

> This time this is a songfic truly inspired by "Say Something".

“Say something, please, dear God,” Eren whispered to him, both them stock still in Levi’s quarters. “Nevermind, forget I said anything. It was stupid, I’m sorry. Forget it.” Eren began to turn away from Levi and he shot out and grabbed the young boy’s hand.

“No, don’t leave just yet. I’m thinking. You really want to be shackled to a thirty plus year old grumpy man instead of one of your own?” Levi asked, disbelief apparent in his tone and the way he was holding Eren’s wrist. Eren turned and grasped his hand even tighter, looking at him with those bright, earnest eyes of his.

“I’m sure. I really like you, Levi, and in this world, you need to hold those you love close.”

“You love me? This is a bit much, brat,” Levi teased, only half-joking. The thought that Eren loved him made his heart skip a beat. Levi didn’t want to love and lose like he did with Isabel and Farlan. Though this is different, he still didn’t want the heartbreak that would become inevitable in this insane world they lived in.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that…well…how do I explain this…I really like you, Levi, a lot, and you can’t let that get away from you. Especially because of who we are and what we do. If you like something, or even care about it more deeply than that, you need to grab onto it and never let go. So…that’s what I think, sir. What ‘bout you?”

_Shit. This well-spoken but shy brat is gonna be the fucking death of me._ “I agree with you, but I’ve held too tight and I’ve lost too much. I-I don’t know if I can be what you want, Eren,” Levi admitted, his throat tight with the admission.

“Nonsense, Levi. You’ll be perfect for me. I’m just as new at this as you are. We’ll stumble and fall together, alright?” Eren flashed him another bright smile. _He’s gonna blind me with his fucking smile then give me a fucking cavity with his sweetness._

“Oi, stop being such a cute shit,” Levi insisted, pouting. Eren just threw his head back and laughed and Levi’s frozen heart melted just a bit. “Alright, you’re gonna scrub all the windows in this place.” Eren quit laughing and pouted instead. It was Levi’s turn to laugh and Eren gave him a light but playful shove.

“Why are you so mean?!”

“Hey, you started it,” Levi insisted, walking to the door. “Come along, brat. Gunther and them are gonna wonder what the fuck you’ve been doing and I don’t want them to get antsy.”

Levi pushed Eren out of his office/sleeping quarters and locked them while Eren ran down the hall where Petra was coming up the stairs. “Hey Petra. Captain wants us to scrub the windows!”

“No, you little shit, I said _you_ get to scrub the windows while the rest of us watch.” Eren looked at him with a puppy-dog expression and Levi is struck by how true the comparison is. Eren is a puppy, not old enough to be wanting what he does. But Levi’s starved heart is begging for affection and if that puppy-dog of a brat wanted to give it, so be it.

“Fine, fine! I _suppose_ Petra can help you and you have until tomorrow to do it.” Petra looked horrified. Her Captain, letting someone get help with a punishment, which scrubbing all the windows in this place must be, _and_ giving them extra time?!

She almost fainted right there and then. “C-Captain, are you sure-“

“Don’t argue with me! Get Oluo to make me some tea. The good stuff. I need to exercise my horse and write to Erwin and do paperwork and clean and the prospect of my day is giving me a headache.” Petra saluted and she and Eren ran off to do what he just asked. Levi stood outside his quarters and rested his hand on the rough wood. “What are you doing, old man?”

“Talking to doors, apparently.” Levi whirled around and had a knife pressed against Hanji’s throat before she could breathe. “Woah, woah, _woah_! Calm down, short stack! I didn’t mean to scare you! Erwin is coming out tomorrow and he wanted to know if you had a room set aside for him. Don’t kill the messenger!” Levi sighed and pocketed the blade.

“As much as I would _like_ to kill you, Hanji, that time is not now.”

“Oh Levi, how you make me swoon!” She said, feigning a faint and then laughing her maniacal laugh. Levi shuddered. “But seriously, do you have a room set aside for Erwin?”

“Of course. That asshole could show up anytime and have a room ready because he’s the commander and everyone has no choice but to accommodate him, the ass.”

“I’m sure he loves you too, Levi.” Levi glared his fiercest glare at her and she just ignored it. “So, can I have my hands on that Titan Shifter of yours?” The mention of Eren had Levi’s heart doing strange things in his chest.

“Sure, not like I care.”

“Oh, Levi, you’re as transparent as glass. When?”

“When what?” He snapped, folding his arms across his chest and looking every bit Humanities Strongest.

“When did you get together?”

“Why is that any of your business?!” Levi forgot that he had to deny it and looked at her in shock. “Oh fuck.”

“I take it this happened recently.”

“Captain, I have your tea!” Eren called from the top of the stairs but stopped when he saw how Hanji and Levi were standing. “Should I come back or…?”

“No, brat, come over here.” Eren doesn’t question Levi, for which he is thankful for, and brings the tray over toward them.

“What’s going on, Captain?”

“Hanji knows.”

“Guilty as charged!” Eren was so startled he almost dropped the tray but Levi expected it and stole the tray from Eren’s fingers. “Woah, short stuff, no need to get so testy!” Levi glared at Hanji while Eren shifted uncomfortably.

“So, you know, what are you going to do about it?” Levi asked and Hanji just smiled.

“Nothing. I want what’s best for the pair of you.”

“So you aren’t going to tell anyone?” Eren asked, hesitant, and Hanji just smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

“Nah. Doing that…it’d fuck with you guys and I don’t want to ruin what is obviously a good thing for the both of you. Just don’t let Erwin find out. He’ll want it to end.” They both nodded, solemn, and the three parted ways.


	2. I'm Giving Up On You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter. I hope you like it!

“Come on, Levi, please!!” Eren whined but Levi shook his head.

“Are you an idiot? Do you know how dangerous it is with Erwin here? We have to wait until the mission is over and everyone is gone and everything is back to normal. And besides, have you forgotten just last night the entire squad tried to kill you because of a fucking teaspoon? After this expedition, they’ll trust you and we can start sleeping in the same bed. Just go and visit your friends and I’ll come get you for bed.”

“Bed?”

“Yes. Your bed, in the basement. Do you still expect me to make an exception because you’re involved with me?”

“Can you just say the word. Please? That one, simple word?”

“What? Boyfriend?”

“That’s the word.”

“If it’ll get you to shut up, sure, sounds good to me.”

“Leeviiii!” Eren whined once again, but Levi didn’t fall for it this time.

“Go away, before I kick you so far into next week you don’t have a brain. Wait, someone beat me to it.” Eren knew better than to hit Levi, but he was still looking for revenge, so he poked his tongue out at Levi and ran away. “Damn brat…” he sighed and returned to his paperwork.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Levi was in more than just physical pain. He hurt emotionally, too. His entire squad, except Eren, gone. He almost lost Eren, too. The thoughts made his heart _ache_ and he just couldn’t handle the loneliness. “Hanji, stay with me,” he demanded once she was done wrapping his leg. The entire thing was sprained and his ankle, Hanji suspected, was fractured.

“Don’t you want Eren to see you?”

“Later, but right now, I need _your_ support.” Hanji pulled a stool and sat next to Levi. “I just…I almost lost them all. I lost my entire, hand-picked, special squadron. Oluo, Erd, Gunther, and Petra. Gone…I had to fly over them and leave their bodies to get Eren back. I sacrificed my squad’s family’s happiness to save that brat and I don’t think he realizes how much that hurt _me._ ”

“I’m sure if you explain, Levi, he’ll understand you.” Levi knew she was right, but he didn’t want to tell Eren why he was so upset. It’d be like he was placing guilt on him when Levi wasn’t.

“I’ll think about it,” was Levi’s response and in all actuality, they both knew he was going to bring it up to Eren.

After a while, they stood up and went their separate ways. Levi went to the dining room and found Eren preparing a tray of tea. “Eren-“ Levi stopped, unsure of what to say. “Sit. Please pour,” he whispered, sitting in his usual spot and Eren did the same, slouching his shoulders and looking fearful and small.

“I-I should’ve transformed sooner. Then, they’d all still be here.”

The admission made Levi halt, his cup near his lips, the sweet aroma of tea filling his nose. “You made the choice you thought was best and only in hindsight do we know if it was the right one or not. Don’t regret it. If you do, you’ll live to regret every single decision you’ve made and will make. Live life to the fullest and for God’s sake, don’t regret the choices you’ve made.” _I regretted Farlan and Isabel for a long time and it got me nowhere. I’ve learned to accept all the mistakes I’ve made and work around it. It makes you stronger, not weaker._

“Captain-Levi, I-”

“Shush, Eren. Don’t apologize. I think we both understand.” Eren nodded and the door opened, revealing the blond boy, that violent sister of Eren’s and Hanji and Erwin. They sat at the table and discussed the plan to capture the Female Titan. After everyone left, Levi looked over Eren with care. Eren still was in disbelief and would never escape it. “Are you onboard with the plan, Eren? You have to be!”

“I just can’t believe it.”

“But you have to, it’s the only thing that makes logical sense.”

“Yeah, I guess so…”

“Come on. Let’s go to bed.” Eren stared at him in confusion as Levi stood. “I’m tired, you’re tired and we’re all confused, so let’s try to fix that.” Levi grabbed Eren by the hand and pulled him out of the room. They made it to the stairs, where Eren tried to goto the basement. “Where do you think you’re going. Come on, up to my room.”

“B-but…”

“But nothing. I need someone to hold and I think you do as well. Let’s go and wash this disgusting dirt off and crawl into bed.” Eren smiled and they walked upstairs together. They bathed together, Eren washing Levi’s back and vice versa and they crawled into bed together, Eren spooning Levi. “See, this isn’t that bad, is it?” Levi asked, curling further into the solid warmth Eren provided him.

“No, it feels really nice, actually.”

“See, told you so.” They laid there a while and Levi gave Eren a sleepy kiss, which the boy returned and they laid their, content and drowsy until Eren’s groggy voice broke the silence.

“I love you, Levi,” Eren said, the pair almost asleep. Levi couldn’t respond, it was too new and he didn’t know what to do. But it was too late to respond anyway because the next second, Eren was snoring. Levi was a bit irritated by it, but when he turned over to stare at the young boy and saw the soft smile on the corner of his lips and the way the moon illuminated him made al the irritation vanish from Levi’s body.

“I think I could follow you anywhere, Eren, and I know I can be the one you want me to be. Give me some time…” With that, Levi fell asleep and Eren never knew the words that Levi whispered that night. No one did, except Levi.

 


	3. I've Given Up on You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They both have to give up eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be prepared for angst. Lots of angst.

“Say something, Levi.” But he couldn’t. It was months since the Female Titan, aka Annie was captured and they were now struggling to keep Eren out of the hands of those wanting to destroy the Survey Corps.

“What do you want me to say?”

“Something! Anything! You can’t just stand there and be silent as someone breaks up with you!” _I can’t say anything, Eren. Just stop, please. You’ll only make it worse for the both of of us._

“Well, obviously you don’t know me.”

“Obviously I don’t, because we wouldn’t be here otherwise. I don’t know you at all, it seems. So forget it. You don’t have to say anything. Just…leave me alone, alright? Unless it’s pertinent information or an order, just don’t talk to me, okay?” Levi nodded as Eren gathered the last of his things from Levi’s quarters and left. Levi went and sat on his bed. “ _Say something, Levi.”_ Oh, he knew those words would haunt him for eons and eons.

The entire relationship ended because of bad communication and those words were only befitting of the end. Levi felt so small and tiny. Everything romantic went over his head and he had no idea when Eren was screaming for affection. He really did know nothing at all about romance and Eren seemed to know a bit too much. But Levi really fucked up. He stumbled and fell so many damn times that it wasn’t even funny. He tried to learn to love but it didn’t work.

He was just crawling while Eren was running circles around him and they couldn’t communicate how they felt well enough to try and fix it. Eren wouldn’t stop moving enough to lend Levi a hand and Levi couldn’t find his footing well enough to try and stop him.

_“Say something, Levi.”_ The rest was clear. _I’m giving up on you, Levi._ It tore at his heart. Levi didn’t think he would ever be the same. And what’s worse is that he never, ever said the words Eren wanted to hear most of all.

_I love you…I love you Eren…_ he thought as he laid back on his bed and stared at the cold, blank ceiling, trying to get his emotions back under lock and key. They would never be the same again. And Levi didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

“E-Eren?” Levi asked, kneeling down on the dirty,, disgusting, blood soaked ground. “Eren, don’t do this,” he pleaded, a tear falling onto the blood stained cheek. A soft smile graced Eren’s lips.

“I-I’m glad you found me, Levi,” Eren choked out, his breath getting heavier and heavier as more and more blood seeped into his lungs, drowning him with the stuff that’s supposed to keep him alive. “I still love you. I never stopped. But I couldn’t be with you. It was killing me. You never showed me affection and you never said-said I love you. So I had to give up on you. S-say something, Levi,” Eren whispered, coughing up blood, a bubble getting stuck in the corner of his mouth. “Say something, please. Make my last moments worth it. I would’ve followed you anywhere, you know. Say something, because I gave up on you.” Levi’s tears fell again onto Eren’s cheeks and Eren lifted a hand to brush blood-stained fingers against Levi’s cheek, leaving a mark against him.

“I’m sorry I was too prideful to say this earlier and I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you in time. I heard you but I just wasn’t fast enough. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I love you too, Eren. I love you so damn much. You’re the only one I’ve loved like this and I can’t say goodbye but I have to. Damnit, please don’t make me say goodbye!” Levi was almost sobbing by then and Eren’s smile turned from soft to morose and macabre.

“I’m sorry I have to, though, Levi. I’m glad you said something. But now I’m giving up on you. I can’t hold on to this anymore. I’m sorry…I love you…” Eren’s chest gave a death rattle and he slowly fell from Levi’s arms.

“I love you too, Eren, don’t give up on me, please! I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, I would’ve followed you anywhere. To that ocean, to the ends of the fucking Earth, just don’t give up on us, please!” But Eren could no longer speak. Levi bent over his body and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

“Levi, say goodbye,” Hanji said, touching his shoulder lightly.

“No! Don’t touch us! Leave us alone!”

“You need to give up on him, Levi, he’s gone. He’d be steaming by now. We learned the worst lesson in the worst way about Titan Shifters. Say goodbye, Levi…” And Levi knew she was right. _Say something, Eren, one last time, before I give up on you, please._ But nothing came and he knew nothing would come. More tears fell as he stood and carried Eren’s body to the cart. _Anywhere, I would’ve followed you, you know that, Eren? Say something, I’m giving up on you, my dear, my one true love…_

_Say something, I_ have _to give up on you._ And Levi left Eren’s body to Mikasa and mounted his horse, staring one last time at Eren’s dead body.

_Say something…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of that. So angsty. I regret nothing! Anyways, I love hearing from you guys, it makes my day! A comment or even just kudos would be very much appreciated. Thank you and have a wonderful day!


End file.
